Your pastor might be a narcissist if:
- ~ If he has an inflated sense of self-importance and an insatiable drive to be liked and to be at the center of attention.
- ~ He can not stand anyone challenging his positions.
- ~ He says he "is your 66 books" and will tell you what you need to know about the Bible.
- ~ He has an inordinate need for praise in order to feel important. He requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention & affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).
- ~ An inordinate need for praise in order to feel important.
- ~ Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special & favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations.
- ~ He is arrogant and displays rage when contradicted, or confronted.
- ~ He expects the congregation to give him gifts on Christmas, his birthday, and church anniversary, or "just because your special" gift.
- ~ He is threatened by a person who is genuinely more gifted than they are and potentially more influential than they are. Rather than being excited about the fresh
wind of God's spirit, they use whatever means they can manipulate to put this person down, thus elevating their own selves.
- ~ They have an egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, and perception by others - these traits are at the core of extreme narcissism.
- ~ He has immense need for continual feedback of how important he is.
- ~ He is continually scheming on how he can outwit and control members of the congregation.
- ~ He has strong reaction to rejection and disapproval, sometimes with intense rage.
- ~ He is very calculating and conniving in his behavior to “maintain” supplies of continuous adulation. (Narcissist supply).
Since extreme narcissists are incredibly adept at the game of manipulation, they will always find a way to turn the tables on you. They will try to make you responsible and feel guilty for not helping them or taking their side and cause.
Here are some links to good articles on narcissistic pastors in the ministry:
Toxic people, narcississts in the ministry
Narcissists in the ministry
How to identify a narcissist pastor
You can find oh-so-many other excellent references with a simple web search.